Alt Summit: Amazing Moment #4: The Life List

by Whitney on January 31, 2013

Background story, for those of you just now joining me: I made my first “Crazy List” when I was 16 years old, thanks to a book called Put Your Heart On Paper. You can tell I was 16 because of a) the handwriting, b) the underlying teenage angst and c) I misspelled the word gorgeous. That doesn’t matter though. I’m proud of the fact that I had the audacity to dream some crazy stuff.

crazy-list

So on the final day of Alt Summit, when I saw that there was a workshop called The Life List, I thought I’d go, for several reasons. First of all, I love lists. Second of all, I typically connect well with people who like talking about big ideas like life. Thirdly, the agenda said it was led by Maggie Mason, and somewhere in the back of my head, I remembered that she fell under the category of “people who might be a big deal so if I run into them at Alt, so make sure not to ask them how long they’ve been blogging ’cause they might know Dooce personally” (which I think Maggie does).

I seated myself a couple of rows back from the front. There were twenty or so others scattered around the room as well. We were doing that thing where we make sure we keep a seat between us and the next person, because let’s face it: we were all probably pretty nervous about talking about something called The Life List. As we assembled, Laura Mayes stood at the front of the room and told us to all move closer together.

My instant thought response to that instruction was “YAY! I love interactive exercises!” and I jumped to the front row. Maybe a little too eager. But if this is what I thought it was, I was all over it. Lean into vulnerability. Lean into dreaming big. Lean in to making things happen. Lean into better, not bigger. Lean into challenge. In short, STEP OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE.

Laura Mayes probably thinks I’m some creepy weirdo.

Then, Laura and Sarah Brown proceeded to tell us how Maggie was “not well”, ie, had the flu, but how she believed in putting crazy stuff out there and then watching, letting, making, crazy stuff happen. They talked about how The Life List was an evolutionary list–somethings would get added to it, some things would come off, but all of it had to get out there. Out of your head, out of your heart, and on to something else: paper or the internet, either one seemed fine.

My kinda talk. This is stuff I believe in.

And then they challenged us to write a list of our own. And share three things off that list with the entire room. A room of, for the most part, strangers. A few people I had met, but for the most part, these were people who barely knew my name four days prior, and I was now asking myself if I was willing to bare my soul to them.

Outside the comfort zone. Lean into it. This is the stuff that could, maybe, might, turn into amazing.

I looked at my list. Do I pick the superficial things, like weigh 135 pounds? Or the really audacious things, like own a house in Vail with heated driveways? Or perhaps I pick something with a greater good theme to them, spiritual maybe?

I was the third person to talk. As the people before me finished, my heart started pounding. I’m not a crier I’m a recovering crier, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. It had been a wonderful, but rough, couple of days. I had been called out of two keynote sessions because of some serious phone calls. Scary conversations about business and my life. So far, during the course of the trip, I’d cried to the accounting department of a major corporation, my precious friend and roommate, Amber Housley, during Erin Loechner’s presentation when she mentioned the Day Designer, and now here I was about to go sobbing again.

I had not packed tissues. Crying was not on the Alt Summit agenda that I received.

My turn came. I looked down at my list and I picked my three points, all of them doable within 2013, if I’m crazy enough to dream that big. I could barely start talking about the first. I really can’t even mention what it is here on the blog. If you’ll allow me to be vague, I have two specific people that I want to do something really big for, because they’re small business owners, and I know what that feels like, and because I feel in my heart it’s the right thing to do. I just can’t do it right now. Literally. It feels like the impossible. But the room supported me, through my tears and all. Yay for women who dream big and crazy, right?

I composed myself and moved on to my next point: write a book. Also doable within 2013. Already started. Get busy, Whitney.

And then I went on to the last point. Briefly, I explained that my friend Amber had been encouraging me to put a workshop together. Over the course of the entire Alt Summit experience, she had been challenging me to go home, make some phone calls, and put together a workshop experience based on the Authenticate work I’ve been doing lately: helping women dig deep to uncover purpose, pair it with values, and develop a once-and-for-all why statement. I told the room that Amber wanted me to reach out to the design and blogging community and ask for a host in any city that Southwest airlines flies to, and see if that host could get at least five women together, and that if they could, I’d fly to that city and do a one-day workshop on living authentically.

As soon as I said it, I heard a voice behind me say, “I’ll host.” And then another, “Me too!” and then another, and another, and another and ya’ll, THEN I SOBBED. Hands to my face, shoulders shaking, people WANT to support this. They want to support me.

Over the past eighteen months (a story I’ll tell at the Authenticate workshop), the hardest part has been feeling worthless. Like I don’t add value, to anything. Like I’m not a contributing member of society. I’ve been humbled (gracious, the humble pie eating is getting OLD), extremely grateful to the women in my life who have listened, hugged me, hired me, and believed in me, but I still haven’t been able to kick that feeling of worthlessness.

And in that moment, in that ballroom full of women, sharing their hearts, I didn’t feel worthless. I felt like I had something to offer, and they were willing to help me offer it to the world.

If you were sitting in that room, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So, friends, I’m going to do it. I’m going to offer an Authenticate workshop in any city that I can fly to Southwest airlines on. If you’d like me to do a workshop in your city, and you think that between my efforts and your efforts that we can get at least five women to participate, contact me to become a host for your city. The cost for attendees will be $300 per person, and will include lunch and beverages. The host will attend free, in exchange for helping me find a place to host the workshop, helping round people up to attend, and helping me to make various food and beverage arrangements. I’ll have to do the workshops during the week (no weekends), and I can start them during the last week of March or any time in April. I’ll bring worksheets! And tissues! And we’ll dig into our hearts and help each other uncover all the ways we can live authentically.

If there is anything The Life List exercise taught me, it’s that there is a community out there that wants to be a part of making incredible things happen. It reminded me that there is power in putting dreams out there: on paper, on the internet, it doesn’t matter. Just get it out. When you do, you’ll find a whole community of people out there who want to help others live their dreams.

This concludes my Alt Summit wrap-up post series, but stay tuned. I’m chock full of inspiration at the moment, and can’t wait to share more.

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Lena January 31, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing experience…and what a tremendously beautiful moment! Your story has really impacted me and the dreams I have for my little piece of the creative world. You should add Nashville to your list! :)

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Caroline January 31, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Whitney I had to comment because what those women did for you, you did for me. Just wanted you to know. Can’t wait to see you again!

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Stacie Shea January 31, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Hi Whitney! So dang proud of you for this post… You know I’m here for you with NYC, CT area :)

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Jennifer Faught {Something Detailed} January 31, 2013 at 7:53 pm

100% what Caroline said. And I am so in for an Authenticate workshop. Just say when and where. Thank you for being so transparent. Vulnerability = growth. You are practicing what you preach. P.S. So with you on the South of France and learning French – both on my bucket list too.

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Amy Kinslow January 31, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Thanks for making me tear up at work today ;) Awesome. great. wonderful post! I agree with Lena, Nashville should be on your list. I know a handful of people that need a good dose of Authenticate. I’ll help in whatever way possible. xoxo

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Courtney warren January 31, 2013 at 9:30 pm

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY FOR YOU. I love that you dream big, are vulnerable, and are a recovering cryer. :) Yay for feeling supported. You deserve that!!

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Wendi January 31, 2013 at 10:30 pm

Whitney,
That is amazing and I am so happy for you. There is little better than the feeling of being worthy…of anything. I have had a rough year (and beyond) of feeling the same way and I am fighting my way out from underneath it. Feeling worthless is horrible and your willingness to share this really reminds me that there are wonderful people out there that WANT to embrace and help others. Congratulations. And thank you.

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Mary Recker February 1, 2013 at 12:45 am

If you make it to the Philadelphia area, I would be there in a heartbeat!

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Tanda February 1, 2013 at 4:10 am

Hi Whitney,
I was with your sister at a homeschool summit this past week which led me to think of you and look up your blog. What an inspirational person you are and always have been! God has brought me to a place (along with the encouragement and love from an amzaing husband) where I am finally realizing my potential in Him and now I love to absorb from people like you! I would totally be interested in coming to a workshop so I will be checking back!

In Christ,
Tanda
http://www.shawnmaguire.us

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Gaby [The Vault Files] February 1, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Whitney, you have a beautiful heart, and I’m glad I had a mini chance to talk with you, even if it was just really brief! If you want to come to Toronto, I’d love to help! Or if there’s anything else I can do for you, I’m here. If you don’t know her already, you should contact Jess Lively, she lives in Chicago, she loves to help people (she does consulting), and I’m sure she can get you more than 5 people ;)

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Liz February 1, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Hi Whitney!
I’m so excited you want to take the Authenticate Workshop on the road! I just sent you a message through your website about having one in STL!
Thanks! Liz

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cristin @ simplified bee February 1, 2013 at 7:25 pm

I had to sell my tix to ALT this year… the hubby’s schedule just wasn’t flexible enough for me to swing it. I’m bummed bc I know I missed experiences like this. Which I love. I loved your story. Happy to help you with a workshop in the SF Bay Area.

xo
Cristin

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Whitney February 8, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Thank you, Cristin! I will reach out to you about SF!

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Jessica Bishop February 4, 2013 at 2:08 pm

Oh, Whitney! I absolutely hate the thought of you ever feeling worthless. The time we spent in our Authenticate session was absolutely invaluable to me. Your vulnerable heart and your spirit for helping others is so incredibly appreciated and valued by those who have been lucky to get to know you. Sending you much love and hugs!! Let me know if I can be of any help spreading the word about bringing Authenticate to Nashville or NYC! :)

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Whitney February 8, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Jessica, thank you so much for your encouragement! I’d love your help to do an Authenticate in NYC later this year! xoxo!

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Erin February 5, 2013 at 1:54 am

Whitney! Every time I read your blog and see your posts, I feel inspired and less ‘worthless’ in my own daily struggles with life, faith and business. I’m so grateful that God put you in my life and would travel anywhere to be in a workshop led by you! Hopefully you’ll come to Nashville!

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Jody Atkinson February 8, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Your posts are always an inspiration to me and just the pick me up I need. You have no idea how many lives you are touching! I love the idea of you doing a workshop! Do you think this will be something that you will offer throughout the year?

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Whitney February 8, 2013 at 10:11 pm

Hi Jody, as long as it doesn’t conflict with family schedule, I’m happy to go anywhere people need me, when they need me! Thanks for asking!

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Brittany Fleming February 9, 2013 at 8:02 am

Whitney! Can I tell you that I am in tears right now! (I am a major crier too!) I am signed up for your rebranding and authenticate sessions for later this month! I am SO looking forward to it! I am excited to learn from your knowledge! Know that this girl finds you very worthy and looks up to you and your accomplishments!
Brittany

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