Friday afternoon, I sat in my car, tweeting away about giveaways and the whatnot, when I noticed a few sobering tweets show up in my twitter stream. I stopped all the RT’ing and started trying to figure out what was going on. Less than a few clicks later, my heart started to sink. I honestly thought about turning off my phone. I honestly didn’t know if I wanted to know more. All I could tell from the tweets was that it was going to be very, very, very sad.
There were groceries melting in the back of the car, so I hopped to that task, hoping it would take my mind off whatever had befallen our fallen world. As I unloaded the groceries, friends pieced the story together for me, and my phone kept buzzing with new alerts. Halfway through unloading, I stopped, in the middle of the garage, and choked back a sob as I realized that the details that were emerging weren’t being exaggerated or over-hyped.
At first, I asked the same question we all did: WHY? But I’m a problem solver, and so after I had enough data to satisfy my inquiry on as to why this had happened, I wanted to move on to a WHAT–what I could do about it. Realizing that my ability to impact outcomes half a continent away is limited, I started praying. Praying for the mommas and the daddies and the brothers and sisters and the marriages and the community and the hearts that are hurting. Praying that those precious families can turn the pain into purpose.
Even though I know prayer is powerful, there are times when it doesn’t feel like enough. This world needs more love, among a host of other things, than all of us can ever hope to offer. I want to do more. But prayer is what I can do–it’s my part. So every time I’ve teared up over the past few days–and it’s been multiple times per day–I’ve used that heart-wrench to remind me to pray for Newtown, Connecticut, just a little bit, if not a whole lot, more.
I was catching up on blogs yesterday, and saw that Pioneer Woman had posted the prayer of St. Francis. It seems a fitting closing note, on a week when I cannot find the words:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
On a separate note entirely: the iPhone case winner is Kelly from FabulousK! Kelly, email firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get your iPhone case to you!