My heart is in a good place right now.
It’s full of contentment and generosity and it feels safe. Loved. But not in an armored sort of way. It could be hurt again, and my head knows that and is posting all these warning signs.
The road I’m on is one that was called to love, and right now, that’s easy, because I feel like the people that matter know me and love me, and that’s what makes a heart feel safe enough to love others.
And for so many reasons, I don’t want to leave this place.
I want to anchor down, right here, and claim that I’ve arrived.
I have enough, I am enough, and I’ll circle the wagons right here, thankyouverymuch. But that’s not what hearts were created for — they weren’t made to drop anchor and set up camp.
They were made for a journey, a transformation, a call to the action of love.
So instead of setting up camp and calling this comfortable zone my end-all and be-all, I’m acknowledging that I feel safe and loved, and that means that the call to open arms and love harder and give more freely is just around the next bend.
I’ve got to admit, it’s a bit frightening.
I very easily find myself holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, rather than fully enjoying the good that’s present in my life.
Brené Brown describes it perfectly.
If you ask me what’s the most terrifying, difficult emotion we feel as humans, I would say joy. How many of you have ever sat up and thought, ‘Wow, work’s going good, good relationship with my partner, parents seem to be doing okay. Holy crap. Something bad’s going to happen’? You know what that is? When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding: ‘I’m scared it’s going to be taken away. The other shoe’s going to drop…’ What we do in moments of joyfulness is, we try to beat vulnerability to the punch.
Anticipating tragedy doesn’t protect us from it when it comes our way. It just robs us of the moments of joy we could be experiencing right now.
The best way to combat those thoughts when I catch myself fearing the future rather than leaning into the joy of the present is by practicing gratitude. Choosing to focus on what I am thankful for redirects my attention and reframes my perspective. It doesn’t dissolve the fears, but it helps me not give them undue priority with my thoughts and emotions.
In the busyness of this holiday season, it is so easy to get swept up and distracted. Friends, let’s choose — together — to stop and savor the moment. Commit to pausing more. Practice gratitude. Slow your breathing. Refocus.