Toxic Relationships and Setting Boundaries
Welcome back to Back to Business Week! This week is built around the idea that our kids are back to school and it’s time for us to get back into the swing of things. To do this, I’m walking you through the HEART Goals acronym. The whole philosophy behind HEART Goals is to help you prioritize your task list so that you can live a balanced life while you achieve your dreams.
As a recap, here are the five components of HEART acronym. These are also our core human needs:
H — Help Yourself (a healthy body)
E — Empower Yourself (a healthy mind)
A — All Your People (meaningful relationships)
R — Resources & Responsibilities (the money to go where you want and do what you please)T — Trade (purposeful work)
In this morning’s live coaching session, we talked all about about the ‘A’ in HEART: all your people. We discussed toxic relationships, setting boundaries and how to intentionally create meaningful relationships. We covered these key questions as I challenged the community to think about all their people:
- How do I identify toxic relationships?
- How do I eliminate toxic relationships?
- How do I set boundaries, both physical and emotional boundaries?
- How do I find more sharp people aka healthy relationships that will empower me to be the best version of myself?
- How many meaningful relationships do I have time for and how do I maintain those meaningful relationships?
Toxic behavior and toxic relationships have become buzz words, but we do need to acknowledge the negative people and relationships we have in our lives and create distance between ourselves, those people, and their behavior. Once we’ve identified toxic relationships, we can’t try to fix it. Cause and effect don’t matter, it’s all about creating distance.
Once you’ve identified toxic behavior it’s time to set boundaries. None of us like to say no, but the truth is that people respect boundaries. We’re actually hard-wired to respond to boundaries. So learn how and when you need to set boundaries and it will get easier. I have four important tips on how to set those boundaries:
- Be assertive. You have a right to state your needs without being made to feel guilty. If you don’t state those needs, people won’t know a boundary is there.
- Learn to say no. The first time you do this, it will be hard. It will get easier.
- Don’t be afraid to safeguard your physical and mental spaces. It’s important to set technology boundaries as well.
- Get assistance or support. Talk to a therapist, coworker or friend. Talking it through helps us re-calibrate our boundaries and provides a bit of accountability.
There are toxic relationships and there are boundaries that we can set in order to have meaning relationships. If we practice healthy relationships it will, in turn, make us mentally and physically healthy.
I cover all this and much much more in today’s live coaching session, all about your people! The live recording will only be available for free until Thursday, August 29 at 10 a.m. CT when I go live with my next session. Tomorrow I’ll be covering the ‘R’ in our HEART Goals acronym: your resources and responsibilities. I hope you’ll join me live at 10 a.m. CT every day for Back to Business Week!
