Guest Post: Stop Buying Failure Insurance

A guest post by Rebecca Smith

I would like to write a book someday. There. I said it. It’s out into the permanent existence of Internetland. {My palms are actually sweating.}

Well, in full honesty, I had to edit that first sentence and take out the word “think”. 

Here’s what I originally had up there: I THINK I would like to write a book someday.

I added the precautionary word “think”. Because by adding that tiny five letter word, I was buying failure insurance. Just in case my book never happened, no one could point to my life and ask me why I never wrote it. After all, I never told anyone I would. I only said I THOUGHT I would like to. And, as it turns out, I didn’t.

Precautionary Dream Killers. 

Last week, my husband and I celebrated eight years of marriage. We took an Uber Black downtown to a fancy restaurant where we blabbered away about things we would like to do in our lifetime. Dreams. Goals. Wishes. This is hard for me. I’m more of a dream killer than a dream maker. But the glass of wine helped loosen my dream sensors up.

I surprisingly enjoyed myself. Getting all wild and scandalous as I dug deep into my heart to pull out the things I would love to do someday. I laid most everything on the table. The book being one of them. And Neil looked at me and told me that he couldn’t wait to read the book I write in ten years.

Ten years?!!?? Wait. What? Aren’t you supposed to accomplish and chase after your verbalized dreams so that you reach the finish line within the year? And before everyone else? 

That’s when my newest revelation hit me. These goals that we list January 1st or the dreams hidden inside our quiet spaces? We don’t have to do them all THIS YEAR. And we don’t have to enter into an invisible race to accomplish our lifelong dreams before anyone else. We can’t “beat someone to market” in this area. It’s just not possible.

I can say that I would like to write a book someday. And that someday could be 10 – 15 – 20 years down the road.

It seems like everyone around me is getting a book deal. And here I sit — still trying to figure out how to get dinner on the table. So, a book deal right now — would kill me. 

But a book deal in ten years when I have more life experience and my kids can poop in the toilet all by themselves?  Now we are talking.

Let’s keep dreaming. But let’s not put the pressure on ourselves to make those dreams happen in 2016. If we hike the tallest mountain, start a profitable business, write a trilogy, lose 150 pounds, and take photography classes ALL IN 2016, what the heck are we going to do in 2017? 

No wonder we aren’t great at keeping resolutions or meeting goals. They are too dang lofty. 

Break it down, girl. 

So, I want to write a book — someday. 

What can I do now to help fuel that dream? Maybe I should start developing a habit of writing privately first — just a few hours per week. After ten years, that daily habit will be refined into a wealth of words. And that quiet time I took to write every day will transition into the space needed to get the first draft done. 

What’s a dream you have? Do you feel pressure to get it done now? What’s something small you can do to step closer to the finish line without running so fast you fall flat on your face before ever hitting the goal?

Better Life Bags was a dream that has grown over seven years. We were not an overnight success. {No one really is.} Starting a business was never on my yearly resolution list. And the business does best when I stop looking to my right or to my left and just run my race. Toward my finish line. Not hers. One day at a time.

Rebecca Smith is the CEO and Founder of Better Life Bags, a custom handbag company that hires women with barriers to employment in the Detroit, MI area. She, her husband, and their three kids are intentional city dwellers—choosing to live in the same low-income, under-resourced community as their employees. When not working or designing new bag designs, you can find her snuggling with her kids, reading a good book, or listening to loud worship music. You can read more of her writing at RebeccaSmithOnline.com or hang out with her on Instagram @RebeccaSmithOnline.